We finally have a winner. You will be glad to know that now that All my Children is ending I will have more time to devote to the site and to the caption contest.
3rd Place
Jim Cavanaugh says:
You pour a strong drink, ma’am. It’s enough to curl a guy’s hair.
2nd place:
msWILDside says:
If you don’t like your wifes new perm, there’s always the “Beer goggles”.
And 1st place:
S. Faith says:
Bart knew it was “Lather, rinse, repeat.” but he just couldn’t stop repeating.
- Posted by Gruhn on August 29th, 2010
After a night of binge drinking, Jed would go to the local saloon for some “hair of the dog” tonic and female company.
“We don’t serve a lot of this, but it says that it is ‘guaranteed to put hair on your chest’”
And as the weeks passed by, Ronald never found out why his mustache grew “wavy and silky smooth”.
Doris and Elsie gasped as Jed stroked Flossie’s hand. The potion was working
After his third shot of hair tonic, Jeb realized he had stumbled into an Old West Salon.
Alas, the phone book doesn’t have a spell checker.
Miss Kitty poured another “hair of the dog tonic” for Doc before he tended to the two remaining comfort girls.
After Miss Kitty closed her Saloon, Marshall Dillon would visit her Salon upon occasion, seeking the comfort of her girls and a good tonic.
During prohibition Miss Kitty renamed her Saloon to Salon. It was a long time before the Dodge sisters realized it wasn’t their hair that was getting “done.”
Mr. Chuck Ubermann overcompensates for his enjoyment of mani-petties with some theatrics.
It was 10 years, 10 years to the day. Madge, Eunice and I swore not to utter a word of this to anyone. But as in life circumstances sometimes dictate that where rational minds fear to tread.
We thought him a crazy drunken fool stumbling into a hair salon scaring us half to death. But it wasn’t coincedence that brought that old man into our lives. As Eunice found out the hard way.
Eunice steadied the old man with a shot of the secret stash of whisky she kept under the counter. Madge and I sat and watched as the fearful mans eyes turned to compassion. He began to speak, and I swear as God as my witness if I knew what horror he were to impart to us ladies that day I would have gotten up and left and never came back. But I didn’t I couldn’t. We listened as he told us, things no lady should here. I became a witness to the horror of the murders at Bear Claw. as his tale of corruption lies and deceipt ended , the flicker in his eye went dull. As with a messanger delivering his last message, his task upon this earth was done. We did not give him a Christian Burial Madge thought he looked Jewish. but we did bury him in the back. We made a pact with the Devil not to divulge any of what we heard that night. No good could ever come from it. That pact ended when I heard of the murder of dear Eunice. Somebody knew…somebody knew, Madge was a nervous reck. So know it’s up to me, its up to me to find out the truth behind the Curse of Bear Claw…
11.August 31, 2010 at 2:34 pm
It was 10 years, 10 years to the day. Madge, Eunice and I swore not to utter a word of this to anyone. But as in life circumstances sometimes dictate that where rational minds fear to tread.
We thought him a crazy drunken fool stumbling into a hair salon scaring us half to death. But it wasn’t coincedence that brought that old man into our lives. As Eunice found out the hard way.
Eunice steadied the old man with a shot of the secret stash of whisky she kept under the counter. Madge and I sat and watched as the fearful mans eyes turned to compassion. He began to speak, and I swear as God as my witness if I knew what horror he were to impart to us ladies that day I would have gotten up and left and never come back. But I didn’t I couldn’t. We listened as he told us, things no lady should here. I became a witness to the horror of the murders at Bear Claw. as his tale of corruption lies and deceipt ended , the flicker in his eye went dull. As with a messanger delivering his last message, his task upon this earth was done. We did not give him a Christian burial Madge thought he looked Jewish. but we did bury him in the back. We made a pact with the Devil not to divulge any of what we heard that night. No good could ever come from it. That pact ended when I heard of the murder of dear Eunice. Somebody knew…somebody knew, Madge was a nervous reck. So now it’s up to me, its up to me to find out the truth behind the Curse of Bear Claw…
The Rogaine burned as it went down, and it always left his teeth feeling a bit fuzzy.
Just one more, ma’am. I’ve got a 2 o’clock rinse and perm at the saloon.
Hold on Matt, it’s a gonna be a bumpy night.
Bessie didn’t have the heart to embarrass the mayor for not being able to read.
The fact that half the town was illiterate came in handy for a few extra tips.
As he held her hand she poured another tonic to strengthen his zeal. Gladys and Fanny watched with unconcealed delight, waiting for their hair to curl.
No worries luv, whatever happens here, stays here.
I don’t care what you say you do here! Give me a drink, and give it to me now!
You pour a strong drink, ma’am. It’s enough to curl a guy’s hair.
Bessie, ya gotta help me!
My wife’s mustache is lookin’ better than mine!!
After being “86′ed” from the local saloon, Bill thought he try a new place.
Besides, the drinks seemed stronger and the other patrons looked better.
Little did he know, he was being served formaldehyde!
Are you ready for me to wax your back hair Fred??
After running dry on his liquor, he really didn’t care where he was getting his liquor from. Salon/Saloon; it seemed close enough!
The Salon seemed a perfect cover for having liquor in a strictly dry town.
I know those caption contests are stressful, Fred…here, have another tonic.
After realizing his mistake, it dawns on Jed that TWITTER may not be exactly what he thought either…
Po-tato, Pa-tato… I don’t care, just give me a drink!!
BARWOMAN: We told the interior decorator to take inspiration from the name, and go nuts. We didn’t notice the missing “O” until it was too late.
“I’m so sorry, Jeb. I coulda sworn you said ‘Bikini Wax’!”
You’re gonna need this before your wax.
Free Drinks, Free parking for horses, I think I’m gonna become a regular!
“Looks like the bend-and-snap trick worked after all”.
“Works like a charm”
“Do those women waiting know the pain they’re gonna have to face?
And I just came in for wax, for my car.
I can sure use a drink after that.”
“Shhhh, shhhh, this one’s on me”
Hey girls, this gent must be related to that prostitute who starved to death working in a warehouse.
Take a little off the tap.
Damn! I came in here to get away from my wife & mother-in-law!
So I wrote on the paper that I had a boombox in my luggage and they wouldn’t let me on the plane.
HA, HA!!! Love it Barbara!
Human creativity reached its peak during the prohibition era.
As Ethel poured him another shot, Jethro realized he had a leave-in conditioner problem.
.. more .. more .. one more… plzz
He downed one more in nervous anticipation of Tuesday night’s “speed dating.”
Gosh, this thing has been going on for 5 months, how much longer do we have to look at this same cartoon??? You don’t like any of these captions???
If you don’t like your wifes new perm, there’s always the “Beer goggles”.
I will give you some lemonade…but only because you are drunk. This a Salon…not a Saloon.
The usual Doris!
I know Buck…and make sure to put a little “on” the top!
There was so many Doris! I will never be the same.
you sure this stuff will make my lashes grow back?